Did you sell your kids and get a new car?

This is what our neighbors jokingly asked us when they saw us get out of our little Mini Cooper this weekend with no minvan and no children in sight! Freedom!!! (I think this car could fit inside our mini van!) Anyway, it was awesome! We brought the kids down to my sister's and brother-in-law's house for the weekend, left the van with them and rented this fun little car (another generous gift from family)!!! We came home and were without children for 2 nights and 2 days!!!!! This is the first time we've left all of the children to do something fun. We've left them for various hospital stays throughout the past 19m, but none of those were too fun or restorative. On Saturday we went to this awesome gluten free bakery and grabbed lunch and sandwiches for the road and headed up to Popham Beach, Maine. We have vacationed at Popham Beach with my family for the past 3 years and totally love it up there. We went to the State Park Beach and read, napped and walked without having to deal with kids crying about the wind, the sand, the waves, the cold water, they can't walk any more, "can we go back to the car", "the sand it too hot", etc. etc. It was awesome! Chad and I talked a lot about how to change our situation/life so that we don't stay in such a crappy place (emotionally) and don't ever get so low again. We have inserted mini get aways each quarter, a separate day off for Chad and I once each month, a date night together at least once a month and random other little things to take back our life from this constant pummeling we've been taking. We started having family meals today too and the kids responded really well to it! Hopefully it will get even better and meals won't be the crying/whining/fighting/food throwing/time out-ing event it usually is.

We are not in a better place yet, but we have found the trail marker to it and have started on the path, hopefully. Please keep praying for our bedraggled little family. The path to a better place starts out on a knife edge and feels very precarious...so easy to fall off the path. I think as we force good rests into our lives amidst the hard things that keep coming, that the path to a better place will feel less precarious and will be a little easier to follow. If I stay on the mountain path analogy, I think Chad and I have been trying to sprint up this mountain of hardship and just get to the top where everything will be better. However, we keep coming to another steep stretch of the trail and there is no end in sight, or so it seems. So now we have to re-strategize because sprinters can's sprint through a marathon. They have to become long distance runners and pace themselves and in our case, rest alongside the trail, eat some yummies and maybe even set up camp for the night. So that is our new strategy. We are starting to accept that we are on this mountain and that we may have to climb for a long long time...we've got to start looking around at the path we are on, see if there is anything worthwhile to see, sing some good Deerfoot songs when moral gets low and occasionally ask passersby (ie our families/friends) to carry our packs for a little way. It's kind of embarrassing to have somebody carry your pack when they've got their own pack, but we have gotten to the point where we are freezing cold, soaked, tired, hungry, disoriented and need the help. It was kind of nice to have family give us provisions, carry our packs and let us rest this weekend. Thank you!

Now for some fun pictures! Here we are in driving our fun little car up to Maine

Here we are at the gluten free bakery.

We forgot to take any pictures at the beach, but that really was the best part of the day.

Here are the 5 boys (our 3 plus 2 of our nephews) eating breakfast and getting car racing quizzes and related physics lessons from uncle Tom. The kids were really loving this!

Another milestone!

Noah has reached another milestone!!! He can now pull himself up to a stand unassisted at the train table (I looked over and there he was just standing there playing at the train table!), in his crib and I caught him going up the stairs by himself. He got up 2 whole stairs by himself!! He's pulling himself up to open drawers and throwing out all the contents. He's really loving standing!! Here are a couple of pictures!

Kai has been screaming in pain periodically throughout the day. We just got back from the doctors with them saying it was probably gas. Now he is shrieking and peeing blood clots. We are headed right back to the doctors for tons of fun.

UPDATE: 10pm. Kai has a urinary tract infection. He's on antibiotics now. We have to take him next week to see a urologist and also to get an ultrasound of kidneys/bladder etc. They think he has a structural abnormality that is causing the UTI since it is so uncommon for boys to get UTIs.

The Ants Go Marching 1 by 1...

The kids made a huge mess with some tortilla chips this evening. Chip dust and crumbs were all on the floor and couch. We decided to get the twins in bed and then come back down and clean up afterwards. When I came back down I had already forgotten about the mess and when I saw it I exclaimed, "Oh, LOOK at all those crumbs!" Kai ran over to the mess and yelled, "Mamma, 3 ants are helping! Come see!" Sure enough, 3 ants were working together to haul off a piece of tortilla chip. Is it sad that instead of stomping on them, I thought, "Oh good, if only they moved faster"? :) At this point if the ants clean up the floor, I'm tempted to let them stay!! HAHAHA! My good little helper knew though that I hate crumbs on the floor and he ran to get the red broom. "Mamma, I sweep up crumbs and ants." Oh, my dreams are coming true! Kai is going to sweep up this mess...hoooray! Suddenly he starts shoving all the crumbs and ants under the couch. "What are you doing?", I yell, and he says, "I'm putting them all back under the couch."
Hmmmm...I guess I'm not as good a housekeeper as I'd like to think I am if my son thinks all the crumbs belong under the couch. *Sigh*

Passing the Torch

Noah did not blow out this morning!!! There actually wasn't anything in his diaper....woo hoo! However, Zeze now has diarrhea and did blow out...so another bed change and another screaming bath. Then both Zeze and Noah blew out at nap time. Fortunately, all our sheets were already dirty and we had only put a towel on Zeze's mattress (which he threw out of the crib), so I only had to change Noah's bed and just wipe down Zeze's mattress. Man, I'm tired! I am really hopeful though that Noah's guts are turning a corner! I think all your prayers are helping b/c I don't feel nearly as defeated and angry about all this as I did a few days ago....so THANKS! KEEP IT UP, PLEASE!! :) :)

Reprieve

Ahhhhh! This morning nobody had to get a bath due to poop explosions! I put one normal diaper on Noah and then a second diaper just around the back of him just above the regular diaper. Poop was to the very edge of the 2nd diaper, but there was no serious blow out! We still had to wash his sheets and jammies, but it was contained enough where we didn't have to hose him down, like every other morning (and sometimes after nap) for the past 3-4 weeks! Thank you for the prayers! Kai and Zeze also didn't have blow outs! So it was a slight reprieve from the morning misery! Yay!

The Poop Gods Are Laughing At Us

Noah pooped out twice AND Kai woke up at 1:30a in a pool of diarrhea. Does anyone out there want to come poop on our beds or in our tub? 3/5 of our family is doing it....join the party! Chad just added, "If you're feeling shy about it, you can just crap on our doorstep."

The Noah Challenge Take 2

Tonight I put one diaper on him the regular way. Then I attached two diapers together end-to-end and wrapped those around his belly just above the waist of the normal diaper. I think Noah needs diaper suspenders or something. The problem is (besides the continuous diarrhea) is that he has a huge low-tone belly and teeny tiny bum, so the diapers just slide down off his bum when he curls up to sleep. I think this same problem is why fat old guys wear suspenders, to keep their pants on their butts. Anyway, we think that duct tape would be bad for Noah's skin and the whole tourniquet potential scares me too. So, we will try the around-the-belly diaper tonight and see what happens. After this, I think we just won't put a diaper on him at bedtime anymore. At least we won't be surprised or disappointed in the morning. We'll KNOW there is a mess and no chance for no mess.

Oh yeah, Kai has a 104.3 fever today. Heather, I hope your boys don't get this or that they didn't catch e.coli or something at the beach with all the geese. No diarrhea yet for Kai, just the fever. We were supposed to go to our neighbor's little girl's 2nd birthday today. We had to keep Kai home and he was SO SAD to see our neighbors loading up the car with cake, presents and balloons to go to Gymboree. However, he fell asleep 10 minutes later and slept for 3 hours. I kept thinking about how hard it was to make him miss the fun and sleep and how he couldn't possibly know that Chad and I really had his best interests at heart. It broke my heart to have to tell him he couldn't go! Chad and I were also supposed to go out on a date tonight, but since a temp of 104.3 is a little scary, we cancelled that too. I can't help but wonder if God is doing something similar for Chad and I that we did for Kai. Maybe he's keeping us from something that seems really good and fun, for our own good. "He makes me lie down..." Ps.23 We MADE Kai lay down with his choking sobs and feverish body. I'm really not sure how wanting my husband to get a job (preferably that he likes), wanting my children to stay healthy for at least 3 days in a row, not wanting to go back to work as a vet (or as a Rite Aid employee), not having to sell/rent our condo, not wanting to have to make my own daily bread and not wanting to add Autism to my plate, are bad things. But for some reason all these things are present with us. I don't feel like I'm "laying down in green pastures"...more like "thrown into a hospital tent after an amputation during the Civil War." BUT...I KNOW that God cares for me more than I care for Kai and that He can hear me begging him for a change just like I can't ignore Kai's voice begging to go to the party. He CAN hear me. I do believe that He wants to give me good things, but for some reason, not now. So, tonight, I will enjoy that my new FREE shampoo smells like a tropical breeze, that my bread came out AWESOME tonight and I will hope that my Gerry-rigged diapers will keep Noah's poop in.

We Lost

Noah's poop won the challenge. :( 2 good things are that Noah is more used to this routine and didn't scream while in the tub. And, while I hosed off his stink I noticed that my new deoderant smelled really nice!

the noah challenge

Ok. Tonight we're trying 2 diapers. Plus I eliminated soy and dairy from his diet, so now my bread is gluten/dairy/soy free. Plus I only fed him rice, chicken and applesauce today. No beans, fruit or veggies (all things that I was trying wash down my tub drain this morning after hosing Noah off). The kid gets my sick dog diet from back when I was a vet. Well, I added the applesauce for him and not the dogs! :) It was a pretty crummy day yesterday. The kids were being punks. They were defecating all over my house (oh yeah, Kai tried to shake his poop out of his diaper and into the toilet, but he missed and it hit the floor...at least when i was a vet I got to wear coveralls when I dealt with poop!), Chad and I were crabby about money and jobs and it wouldn't wouldn't wouldn't stop raining!! Horrible day!

Today, however, was magnitudes better. The kids were delightful and didn't whine, or cry or pester each other nearly as much. The sun shone. Chad got another lead on a job and we all went outside this evening to play in the setting sun. Kai shared his bike with Zeze and said, "Zeze you can have a turn first!" Is this the same kid that was kicking Zeze yesterday and yanking toys out of his hands? Then Kai spontaneously said he loved me and gave me a big hug! Then a unicorn danced by and gave me a pot of gold! Ok, I made that last part up, but today was so drastically different than yesterday that the entire description sounds made up to me! I'll take it though! We sure needed it!

I'll let you know how the Noah challenge goes tomorrow. We'll see if he ends up screaming in the tub and covered in poop like every other morning. Night Night!

Is there a bright side?

We're potty training Kai. He just pee'd on the floor which isn't a problem and is to be expected. But then he sat there and drove his fire truck back and forth through it. Then Noah blew out of his diaper and had diarrhea all over his bed (this happens at least once a day) and as I came in the room, I actually saw him take a handful and eat it. His face was smeared with it and now his breath smells like s**t. Is there a bright side to this? Any of you silent readers have any ideas on what I'm doing wrong or how to change this ongoing situation?

Thanks!

Look on the Bright Side

It's been raining here for days and days. On Friday morning it was, yet again, completely overcast and not a speck of blue sky was visible. Kai came into our room, looked out the window and happily shouted, "It's a sunny day!" We asked if he saw the sun or saw clouds. He said he saw clouds. We explained that clouds in the sky meant it was a cloudy day, not a sunny day. He said, "No, it's a sunny day. The sun is just behind the clouds." How profound! I need to take lessons from my sweet, happy boy and remember that it's always a sunny day even if the clouds are blocking the sun for awhile.

I wish there was a garbage disposal in our tub!

I tell, ya, I've scooped so many solid bits of 'food' (in various states of digestion) out of our tub the past 3 weeks, that I wish I could flush my tub like a toilet or run the garbage disposal on it! It's REALLY gross! Anyway, this instance of tub cleaning was at least food that hadn't been puked or pooped out. Noah is a messy messy eater and loves to smear food in his hair and on his shirt, pants and high chair. This was a particularly messy dinner and I was at a loss at how to even start cleaning him since everything was covered. Chad said to just put him in the tub, and so I did! Worked pretty well! I got the chair, clothes and kid clean!
(the 'before' picture doesn't really capture how gross he really is. But he had a layer of slime all over him!)

(Sorry for the constant potty theme's in my past 3 posts. We've been dealing with way too much bathroom yuk for the past 3 weeks. Can't get it out of my mind or the smell out of my house!)

The potty talk has begun

At our house, we like to sing a song from Signing Times that talks about our favorite pizza toppings...."I like ice cream on my pizza. I like ice cream pizza, please. Put some ice cream on my pizza, don't forget the extra cheese." Then you add lots of funny toppings like crackers, candy, apples, etc. Well, I started the song off and then it was Kai's turn to add a topping. Out of nowhere he sings, "I like poop on my pizza, I like poop pizza, please...." I was pretty surprised, because he's never made poop jokes before or thought potty talk was funny. I guess it had to start sometime. With 3 little boys I know that eventually all I'll hear are fart jokes and stuff, but I thought I had a little more time!! Anyway, I had to stifle my giggle (because I guess I'm juevenile enough to still think potty talk is funny) and did the appropriate 'mom thing' and said that we don't sing about eating poop. I can only fend off the incoming tide for so long!!

2 Minutes Too Late

I was finishing up brushing my teeth when Chad popped his head in the bathroom and said, "Oh, don't use that red cup. Kai used it during bath-time to cover his penis while he pee'd."

*Sigh* Can't a poor mom just rinse out her mouth with a clean cup? :)

Moving on....here are some pictures of Kai reading the twins their bedtime stories. What a sweet big brother!

Noah Crawled!!!!

He just up and crawled across the width of the rug (~7-8 steps)!!! I cheered and he looked at me like he didn't know what I was cheering for. Often when he accomplishes something he has a huge grin and soaks up the praise, but it really seemed like he didn't even know he did it. I am so happy for him! (and for us too...we've been working hard trying to strengthen him so he could learn to crawl). AND he did this on a day when he's pretty sick. He was vomiting and had a high fever all yesterday and then woke up this morning COVERED in liquid poo....blankie, the bumper, mattress, stuffed animals and Noah were all covered. But, Noah picks this day to crawl for the first time!! Can't keep him down for long!!!! Yay, Noah!!!

Going Green

Kai was in the car with me today as I got gas for the van. I told him that gas makes the car go just like food makes us go and that it's kind of like the car is eating gas. Kai started to laugh and said, "Car eats grass!?" He mis-heard what I said, but no matter how much I tried to enunciate "gas" he hung onto the "grass" thing and kept saying it..."Car eats GRASS!"

Silly Baboon!

Poor Kai woke up tonight with his first nightmare. He said a big baboon was in his room throwing pancakes at him and he wouldn't stop! I feel so sad for him that he was so scared, but it also is really funny that the baboon (from a book that has jungle animal magnets that you can stick on the pages) was throwing pancakes! He sat downstairs with us and watched t.v., had a chocolate chip cookie (gluten-free, of course) and then was ready to go back upstairs. We told him that if the baboon comes back he should say, "Silly baboon! You eat pancakes! NO THROW pancakes!" (this is something we are constantly saying to Noah.....the "NO THROW FOOD!!!!" part...we don't call him a silly baboon...though just imagining that is making me laugh out loud right now as type!)

Fun Fun!!

We have been busy visiting family throughout the month. Here are some pictures of the kids having fun with their cousins and enjoying the sweet warm spring! There's also a candid family photo...those are often the most fun to look at!

Max and Kai playing whiffle ball
Noah and Zeze enjoying their first time in a kiddie pool

Noah in the violets

Kai, Max and Cal jumping in the bounce house

Trying to hold it together for a family photo! :) Zeze had had enough and was throwing a fit.

Kai's pure delight when he saw Grandpa Chet bringing out the Froggie Cake for the boys' Half Birthday Party!

What Am I Supposed To Think About This? :)

Yesterday I was outside with Kai while he was playing. He runs up to me and carefully puts two small pebbles in my hand and asks me to hold them for him. He starts to run away but stops and looks back and instructs me, "Mamma, don't eat them." and takes off. :)