In Kids' Words

Here is a collection of funny sayings the kids have, or unique views/comments they've made about something. I'm mostly posting it so I'll have them recorded somewhere, but you all might enjoy them too.
1. Kai is working on grammar and tenses as he continues to develop his conversational language. The following example is typical of stuff he'll say and it makes Chad and I laugh. I call this Old Colonial Eubonics: "What you said, Mama? Mine ears can't hear you." The 'mine' comments always make me want to break out singing the hymn Glory, Glory, Hallelujah ("Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord..." are you singing it yet?!!).

2. When the boys are going to kill a bug, they holler, "I'm going to SNAP him!!" Then they joyfully run around, showing me the carcass while recounting the battle and how they 'snapped' that bug. I think it's a combo of whack, stomp, smack === SNAP! However, we had to have a discussion about killing bugs in the house before all of this. After squashing a spider, I was scornfully told by Kai that I was naughty because we don't hurt animals that are in our house (footnote the talking-to I give them when they hit the cats). Now they understand that they can kill bugs outside AND in the house. How is it that Kai can't remember to use his fork when eating yet he can parrot back so many other things I tell him. Grrrrrr. :)


3. Zeze hollered, "Look! It's Santa Clause!!" When he saw the 60ish year old man with a white beard behind us in the check-out line at the store. *Blush*


4. One of Kai's classmates will soon be getting a baby brother. His mom and I are friends and I explained to Kai that her belly is big because there is a baby inside it. Kai looked at my friend's 3rd trimester belly and asked, "When the baby comes out of her mouth, can we play with him?" I love that his question wasn't about how the baby comes out. He had that all figured out...I mean, food goes in your mouth and down to your belly and when you throw-up food comes back out. The baby is in her belly and so it must come out of her mouth!! I love how this kid thinks!


5. A few weeks later: While walking to the car from school pick-up Kai looked over at one of his classmates and her father as they walked near us to get to their car. This father is quite large, probably 400lbs, and carries much of his weight in his belly. Big, round, belly. See #4 up above and begin to cringe and blush with me. Kai says, within earshot of this father, "There is Sally's father." I suddenly know what is about to come out of Kai's mouth as we can see a perfect profile of this obese, man-belly. I begin to pull Kai's arm to make him walk faster. Must make it to the van! Almost there! Kai resists my tugging and says excitedly, "He must have a baby in there! Oh, wait. Only girls have babies, I almost forgot!" There. It's out. Splattered across the rainy pavement. *Sigh*

I have to explain something, 6 months ago Kai could not create or express 1 single novel thought of his own. Almost everything he said or commented on was something he'd heard me say. No new ideas or new ways to do things. When I taught him how to wash his hands, he did it EXACTLY as I taught him. No variations. In fact, if I tried to change it up a little (like squirt soap on hands AFTER you turn on the water) there was crying and hysteria involved. That's what Kai is like with PDD-NOS while also eating gluten and dairy.
Now, Chad and I celebrate together when we hear a gluten/dairy-free Kai creating associations that we didn't teach him, making comments that we've never said or doing things in a new way (see this previous post). So I am so proud of him for observing somebody (which is him looking outside of himself) and drawing associations from a conversation we had weeks ago!!!! That is so stinkin' cool to see such a change!!!! However, I also have the job of teaching him about other people's feelings. How do I balance applauding the joy of new discoveries with teaching empathy to a very tender boy who will (or whose brother will), hopefully none-too-soon, receive comments about being different? Blah. I ended up saying, in the car, that he was so smart to remember that girls have babies, but that adults sometimes feel sad when people notice and talk about their big bellies, so we should try not to hurt their feelings by talking about their big bellies. He gave me a "that makes no sense" look, followed by a sad and confused look because he hurt someone's feelings and didn't know how. Man, parenting is tough!


6. Kai said I should pee standing up since I'm a big girl now. I explained that girls sit down and boys stand because boys have a certain anatomy and girls don't. He asked, "why?" and I was vague and said that God just makes boys and girls different. End of conversation. Yeah, right! Then he asked if Jesus cut out my p***s. WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my goodness gracious!!! Is it still only 8am!!??!!!


That's it for now!